"Nerves and butterflies are fine - they're a physical sign that you're mentally ready and eager.
You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick." ~Steve Bull
You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that's the trick." ~Steve Bull
My butterflies are in all kinds of knots this weekend. I'll explain.
I [slightly emotionally, hopefully effectively] addressed an issue with regards to our living arrangement around the apartment yesterday. I felt awful for being emotional about it, but I was feeling so terribly emotional, you know? Anyway, it seemed to be well received, but you never can tell with that sort of thing and I am a bit nervous about it, about how it will all play out. I sorely dislike confrontation, especially when I'm fighting on my own behalf.
This morning I woke up earlier than I intended. While I was dozing pleasantly in the morning sunshine shining through the window, Ralph began perching on forbidden surfaces around the room [i.e. my desk, my nightstand, etc.] all the while making trilling, throaty jungle sounds. When I finally pried my eyes open to observe the little rascal, I saw this:
The little brat was looking for a book to read! How could I be mad? Needless to say, my "sleeping in Sunday morning" arrangement didn't go as planned. Since I was up, I decided to check out one of the churches nearby. I drive by them all the time. I've been meaning to visit one forever but just haven't found my way there for one reason or another. I discovered online that Allisonville Christian Church had an 11:30am service, so I decided to stop by. I was a bit nervous about it.
The first time you go any place can be tricky. The service times on the website might be out-of-date or you accidentally sit in someone's regular spot. Those nerves were for naught, though, because I was greeted warmly by the Pastor herself when I walked through the doors. Shortly after I found a seat in a middle pew, a kindly lady asked if she might sit next to me. "I know how it can be, going alone and having to sit by yourself. If I'm intruding, just let me know, but I thought it might be nice to have someone to sit by. I'm Tracy."
This all came out in one breath. I learned that she is a school teacher, her son is 15 years old, and she and her husband have been attending this church since before he was born. And she was right, it was very nice not to have to sit alone. Before I left, a nice gal [Cameron?] offered me a little treat box and thanked me for coming. Seeing as it turned out to be full of chocolate, I was sold.
On the way home, I stopped at the grocery and finally picked up a package of hot dogs. I've been needing one for days. With cheese, mustard, and relish, it was certainly a divine lunch. Unfortunately, I snapped no photos. I gobbled it up too quickly. Delish.
Then, it was down to business. This is where the real nerves come in. I mentioned recently that I got a less-than-stellar grade on a project for one of my classes. Calculating the remaining points for the semester, I realized how crucial the Final Project has become to getting a decent grade in the class. When I got the portfolio back, my professor did not hold back his censor about my "poorly written, under cited, too general" work. None of this put me at ease for what I felt I had to do next. Hoping for a better outcome on the Final Project, I requested that this professor look over my working draft and offer any pointers or critiques that will improve my argument [and my grade]. I sent him the draft just now. And I am more than a bit nervous about it.
1. He was so kind in his first critique of my work. [not]
2. He might hate it. That would give me about a week to completely re-work a semester-long project.
So Ralph and I are hard at work this "lazy" Sunday, trying to keep our heads above water with this grad school business. You can see how helpfully he stations himself between the computer and I. His facial expression pretty much sums up how both of us are feeling, I assure you.
That is all for now, I think. My stomach is one big pile of knots. I'm sure the pot and a half of coffee I have consumed today is not helping matters at all. Rest assured when I tell you, I am so firmly focused on the other side of this fence that it's a wonder the neighbors haven't installed a security system yet. [That was a joke. I hope it made some sense.]
Ciao, bellas.
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